Points from the Pastor's Pen
“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
Do you have an attitude? Jesus had an attitude! The attitude of Jesus was that He came “not to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28).
The following thoughts written by Gary Chapman remind me that choosing a servant
attitude has incredible power and influence over all of our relationships.
“In the early days of my marriage, my wife, Karolyn, and I were fairly miserable. I suppose that in a general sense I wanted her to be happy and successful. But the main focus of my attention was on what she could do for me.
In my desperation, I said to God, ‘I don’t know what else to do, and I am asking for Your help.’ As soon as I prayed that prayer, there came to my mind a visual image of Jesus on His knees, washing the feet of His followers.
I sensed God saying to me, ‘That’s the problem in your marriage. You don’t have the attitude of Christ toward your wife.’
I knew what He said was true. At that time, my attitude toward my wife was, Look, I know how to have a good marriage. If you will listen to me, we’ll have one. Karolyn wouldn’t listen, so I blamed her for our poor marriage.
God gave me a new perspective. The problem was not her; it was my attitude.
I said, ‘Lord, forgive me. With all of my study in Greek, Hebrew and theology, I missed the whole point of love. Please give me the attitude of Christ toward my wife. Let me see her as one whom You love, and let me be Your agent for loving her.’
In retrospect, it was the greatest prayer I have ever prayed regarding my marriage because God changed my attitude. I was no longer waiting for warm feelings; I was choosing to love
Karolyn as Christ loved His disciples. I asked my wife three questions:
Her answers led my behavior. When I started serving her as Christ served His disciples, her attitude toward me changed. It did not happen overnight, but within three months, she started
asking me those same questions. My behavior had touched her heart, and her attitude and
behavior had changed.”
Wow! When we choose to love and serve others first, a supernatural dynamic goes into
effect. The result is love flows and hearts and lives change.
Your Pastor and Friend,